Psychotherapy As I Practice It
My Philosophy:
My process is practical, thoughtful and life changing. I find that people who have tried other types of psychotherapy often feel relieved to have hired me and have found my approach refreshing. Good psychotherapy is a re-education. We’ve all been taught misconceptions about, life, love, and happiness. The best therapy is both a learning and unlearning experience in which you replace old, outdated beliefs with new, healthier ones.
The unlearning process is probably the most difficult part of therapy since you have had many, many years of experience and practice in thinking the way that you do about yourself, work, parenting and the world.
Therapy is not about you just talking and me just listening. In my practice, we’ll have an ongoing dialogue with an exchange of information and ideas. I’ll introduce you to new and challenging theories about life in general and you in particular. You and I will create a compassionate partnership with the understanding that you are a unique and complex person.
As your psychotherapist I’ll be supportive and empathetic. All of your feelings, thoughts and symptoms will be respected. One of the most important qualities that I’ll bring to your sessions is the ability to challenge your thinking in a thoughtful way. It is not enough for me simply to be attentive and kind. While you’re likely quite aware of your conscious beliefs, I’ll encourage you to explore your unconscious beliefs that affect how you think, feel and behave. Getting to your unconscious beliefs requires a hard, roll-up-your-sleeves type of therapy work. THIS is how you change your life! These beliefs may include ideas about love, work, money, sex, friendships, self-esteem and relationships. You’ll find your journey in my practice to be deep and adventurous and at times even humorous.
Keep in mind there's no one, widely-accepted therapeutic approach. Many modalities exist because the understanding of the human psyche is not an exact science. My practice philosophy is based on an educational model of teacher and student.
Why Seek Psychotherapy?
I believe that effective therapy is about being happier and healthier. It’s that simple.
As Henry David Thoreau said, “The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.” I see that as a reasonably true assessment.
Many people think they are happy, but I believe that depends on how you define happiness. There are many people in our world forging ahead, every day, but often feeling that they come up short. This isn’t necessarily a conscious awareness. It’s a quiet gnawing, a high anxiety, or a pervading dullness.
People often use the material things to fill in for happiness: great trips, a new sofa, or an expensive restaurant dinner. These things are transitory fun, but they are not the keys to true happiness.
What you need to bring to your therapy sessions:
Open-mindedness:
To experience results in therapy you’ll need a willingness to hear and consider new ideas. You may not always agree with my feedback. That’s okay. I can teach a theory from many angles and I’m open to your thoughts and questions as a student. For instance: “Why did you say that last week, Maureen? It seems way off base to me.” I’ll hear you out and it may take some time for you to digest my response. My theories and observations about your life need to hold up to your scrutiny before you incorporate them into your thinking.
Candor:
It’s important to share the details about your life including what you think and how you feel. I need to earn your trust in order for you to feel comfortable doing this. There are very few situations in our culture where total honesty makes sense--therapy with me is one of them.
The ability to listen to feedback:
I'll help you develop the ability to listen to my observations about your life. My philosophy is supportive and it also needs to be life changing. In order for you to change your life, I’ll need to give you feedback about what beliefs and behaviors you may need to shift. It’s not easy for the important people in our lives to tell us when we're doing things that push them away. While it’s not always easy to hear, I think you’ll find my feedback valuable.
Express all of your feelings:
As you go about your life, you learn to cover up what is going on internally and may often feel no one wants to hear about your fear, hurt, anger or unhappiness. In psychotherapy I need to hear about all of your feelings and thoughts.
Benefits of Psychotherapy:
While individual histories, financial circumstances and issues may vary, my clients share a common tie in their desire for a better life. Anxiety, depression and relationship issues are a direct result of an underlying belief system problems. It's the goal of counseling to address those underlying issues.
Through your work with me, your benefits can include:
- Gaining more self-esteem and self-compassion
- Experiencing more happiness in your everyday life
- Improving emotional intimacy in your close relationships
- Developing a more rewarding marriage
- Improving your parenting skills and your relationships with your children
- Understanding career issues and finding more satisfaction with work
